Toddler as a Second Language

Stop and smell the flowers.

In high school I was forced to take a foreign language. You know, the obligatory 2 years of gibberish to fulfill an arbitrary number of credits in order to graduate. In those two years, I did not retained much, and my only fond memories are of the 'International Food Day' we had at the end of the year. We got to gorge ourselves on homemade crepes, tacos, bratwurst and other food from the typical high school language offerings.

Despite my complete lack of mastery of a foreign language it seems that somewhere deep inside I have have the capacity for learning new an interesting forms of communication after all. I can honestly and confidently say that I am almost fluent one of the most complex and interesting languages in our society: Toddler Talk.

Every word out of my daughter's mouth needs some level of translation. It is very important for all involved parties to be quick in that translation as any delay could set off a incident on level of the Bay of Pigs.

Sure, everyone can understand the easy ones like 'No' & 'Mine', but when the conversation gets deeper you have to be quick on your feet. An entire meal can be won or lost based on whether you think she saying she wants to eat the pancakes you made her, she wants you to eat the pancakes you made her, or she doesn't want pancakes at all...If I guess wrong those pancakes are going to be all over the floor, my lap, and (thanks to the consistency of syrup) the wall. Whenever you approach Toddler-Speak your confidence should be extremely high, or you'll end up doing a lot of unnecessary cleaning and head scratching.

Look it's not easy for anyone to learn a new language, and as far as I know Rosetta Stone has yet to offer a Toddler Curriculum in their best selling language software. But practice makes perfect and the more my wife, mother-in-law, or some other innocent bystander asks "What'd she say?" The more confident I become in my response...

There were, of course,some sketchy days in the beginning like when she first saw that Peacock at the zoo. Her Toddler-Speak version of 'Peacock' left out the very important beginning of the word. People would look at her with that 'did she just say that' look that people get and then they'd look at me quizzically hoping that I'd have a reasonable explanation.

Fortunately, with my extensive practice I can easily put most people at ease. However, my powers of translation seem to only work for a very specific dialect known only to my daughter. When at the home of other friends with toddlers I'm often as lost as the rest of the world in translating. They say that English is one of the most difficult languages to master, but I disagree. I believe the most difficult language is Toddler.

Where there's a Will there's a 21 month old.

It's funny (or at least I think it is) that there is always one parent that seems to constantly play the backup. I often feel like a good tribute band, sure I'm entertaining when the famous band is on a world tour (or not currently at home), but when their back in town I'm a guy who just can't compete with the real entertainment.

In the early months of our little girl's life the 'playing favorites' took a difficult toll on me. I gave her everything I had and could barely get anything in return. Thankfully, at 21 months she's come around quite a bit. There are still times when she needs her mommy more than me and I've learned two things from this:

1. It's OK. My wife and I are a great team. We work well together and I think (even though we're still new to the game) we're doing a pretty good job with our little one.

2. Sometimes, if it's my wife that my daughter is clinging to it means I get to sit down for a few minutes and take a breath.

It's hard to admit that sometimes you just need a break, but at 21 months this girl is a whirlwind. She bounces around the house from the minute she wakes up until the minute she goes to sleep and I'd be lying if I said it was easy to match that energy. It is fun to see her explore her world, but there are only so many times that I can drink a fake glass of tea. I mean there's no sugar and it's not even warm.

My daughter has a will of her own and everyday we're starting to see more and more of it. It's still early in the game, but I have a feeling that this little girl will have that same determination and strength that I so admire in my wife. We're starting to set more boundaries so that this new found strength and determination doesn't get out of hand, but with each attempted task I find myself amazed by her...Sometimes I don't want to tell her 'NO' just to see what she'll do next.

I've gotten lazy with the blog and I think that has been a major mistake. I miss writing, especially here, as it brings me closer to fatherhood. It's easy to go through the motions of being a dad, but I always want to be engaged in her life because each day she amazes me and I would hate to miss out on any of it.

Fatherhood Friday: Mealtime Maladies

I know I've mentioned before that I love food...It is the biggest reason I continue to struggle with my weight. I grew up in a house with a picky mother and because of that I thought I was picky for a very long time. Once I was old enough to spread my wings, I found out that most food is good. The revelation led me to another, if most food is good, I should eat as much as I can for as long as I can to make up for the food embargo I suffered through as a kid.

Before you stop reading I promise it's not another "I'm fat so here's what I'm doing about it' post like my last one. This one is a call for help. I am the father of a picky daughter. For months she ate whatever we put in front of her, but now it's all on her terms and if she doesn't want something she creates an impenetrable force field of flailing arms, lock jaw, and head swings that defies logic.

She eats an amazing breakfast. It's definitely her favorite meal of the day, but lunch and dinner rarely go smoothly. We've tried everything: vegetables in all manner of styles, fruits in every color and flavor, proteins that would make a five star chef applaud (OK so that last one was an exaggeration, but I do put the effort in), purees squeezed into the tightest of recipes, and we end up with nothing.

She will readily eat Lima beans, peas, berries, & yogurt but anything else is a struggle. So I ask you, how do I get this girl to enjoy food without developing the unholy attachment I had to it? I just want lunch or dinner each day to go well...It's a struggle and it's exhausting.

So please, if you have tips leave them in the comments...I will take every one of them seriously.


Check out more Fatherhood Friday Posts here:

Fatherhood Friday: Run, Fatboy, Run...

At the end of June 2010, my pants were too tight, I had to buy a larger size shirts, my knee started bothering me again, and I was tired...Too tired. I knew I had been gaining weight for sometime but I sort of ignored it because I was in the throws of my first year as a father. It was a very good year, I've had so much fun watching my daughter grow and going on adventures with her and my wife. That said, I got fat and I had to do something about it.

Me before...

The plan was simple lose about 40-45lbs by the holiday season, get back into those smaller pants, and work on getting my fitness back up. The only way that I have ever been successful losing weight in the past was on Weight Watchers. Now, when I followed the program before, my wife would go to the meetings and I would steal her books and tips so that I didn't have to pay. But this time, I thought maybe I could actually stick to it better if I my wallet were held accountable too. So off to the meetings I went.

I started following the program religiously, I tracked my points, I exercised, and I the weight started to come off. I've done really well and I am 34lbs lighter now than I was when I started. Sure watching what I eat has helped (my problem has always been portion control), but the biggest thing that I've done is become a full time runner.

For the first month I hated every minute I was out there plodding along my neighborhood streets. However, one morning in late August, as I pushed my daughter in her stroller around town, I actually have begun to enjoy the runs. It's fun to watch my daughter look at all the trees, talking and pointing along the way. She does get a little bored on longer runs, but generally we have a good time out there...We've put a lot of miles on that stroller.

Me so far...

My running started out as a slow 2 mile loop, but in the last month I've worked my way up to 5 miles at a decent pace. I'm working full time again so I really only get to run with my daughter on the weekends, but I've come to enjoy running at night after she's asleep.

My main goal in all of this is to be healthier for my family. It's hard to set a good example when you never leave the couch or eat food that are terrible for you (I save all the junk until after my daughter is in bed). I hope this time I can keep the weight off, not just for me, but for my wife and little girl. I want to be strong and healthy if it means I never eat at McDonald's again, I can live with that.


Check out more Fatherhood Friday Posts here:

Wordless Wednesday:::Beachin' it up

We just put her in the sand and she runs forever...


Check out other Wordless posts here...

Fatherhood Friday::::Bless me Fathers for I have sinned...

It's been 67 days since my last post. I've broken the cardinal rule of blogging, which is to actually blog. Do I have an excuse? Sure...But you don't want to hear it, or (at this point in the desert of infrequent bloggers) read it. But I'll post anyway...

I could sit here and tell you all the fun things my daughter has been doing since my last post, things like: Walking, climbing, throwing food, laughing, playing, saying the funniest things, and hopefully enjoying her daily discoveries. I could do that, but I won't because I have a problem. This post will be a catharsis.

I'm a first time father with no real experience in parenting. Sure prior to the birth of our little girl I did the babysitting nieces & nephews thing, but at the end of the night I always went home. As much fun as it was to run around with them it pales in comparison to running around with your own. Parenthood is the hardest yet most rewarding job I've ever had.

My problem? Well my daughter doesn't seem to be as much a fan of me as I am of her. Sure when it's just the two of us she tolerates me, but when my wife is around I can barely even change her diaper without her crying and kicking all over the place. In the beginning I just let it all go. I figured it would pass and we'd be best buddies, but it seems to be getting worse and it's bothering me.

I would joke that I'm the second string quarterback and that I'd drop to 3rd string when my mother-in-law was around. It was funny at first but not anymore. What hurts the most is that I try so hard for very little in return.

Don't get me wrong it's not all heartbreak and frustration in our house. I do love to chase her around and watch her navigate the world. I just wish she'd involve me a little more.


Check out more Fatherhood Friday posts at Dad-Blogs.com!

On Two Feet...

Yesterday, I witnessed the most amazing thing I think I have ever seen. It was both beautiful and frightening. My 1 year old little girl took her first steps.

It felt like a normal day when I woke up. Little did I know that my world would once again be rocked when she took those first few steps. My wife decided to head to the beach for some relaxation and gentle ocean breezes. Me and my little girl stayed home for some much needed daddy-daughter time. She was in a great mood all day and had a blast playing with her toys (I think I may have enjoyed her toys as much as she did).

After lunch we decided to listen to some music...Classics like 'The Cleanup Song', 'The ABCs', and 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider' rolled out of the cd player in her room while we clapped and danced. At one point she tried to make her own itsy bitsy spider. Not quite there yet, but it was a great effort and she was very proud of herself. That new trick should have been my clue that something amazing was cooking in that little brain of hers.

Then I tried to get her to stand on her own, which she was getting pretty good at. I figured if she got good at standing she'd walk that much sooner. No dice, she stodd great and clapped and danced, but not a single step was taken. I wasn't worried because she was obviously getting closer and it was only a matter of time.

That time came just a few hours later when my wife came home from the beach. I wanted to show her our little girl's new spider trick and see if we could get her to dance. I set her up on two feet and she stood for a second with a big grin on her face. My wife then crouched down and said 'Come to mama' and with that the spider trick took second fiddle to the first few steps by our 14 month old.

I was so proud I got her to do a new trick during 'Itsy bitsy Spider', but she was obviously holding her 'A' material for when mommy got home.

I count myself very lucky for my wife and I to have witnessed those steps together. I'm at work all week so my time with her is limited to a few hours each night when I get home...Chances were I'd probably miss those steps. And with my wife gone to the beach all day she could have easily missed them as well.

Could it be that my daughter was waiting for a full audience? Was she being considerate of both of our feelings? I think so...She's a genius after all.