No, this is post is not going to be about the merits of a viral zombie horde as a opposed to the more traditional undead legions. It is instead going to glance over the first 28 days of my daughters life, what I learned, or more likely, what I think I learned.
Day 1: I told myself I wouldn't look. I remember the video in high school it was like horror porn. As excited as I was to meet my unborn child, I didn't think I could bring myself to watch 'all' of the action. I maintained eye contact with my wife as soon as the pushing started, but when the nurse said "There's the head daddy!" I just had to look and from that point I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It was amazing. As a friend of mine said about childbirth "it really makes you understand the word AWEsome."
Day 5: We finally got her home after some extra time under the anti-Jaundice lights. What a horrible experience to see your newborn on monitors wearing goofy goggles and crying. The nurses were great whenever we were there to visit and feed her, so at least there was that, but it was great to finally get her home. What did I learn that first day? POOP can spray. I lifted her legs to clean her up while changing a diaper and KABOOM! Poop on my shirt at a good 18 inches away. I didn't know whether to be disgusted or proud...Turns out thankful was the right emotion, that poop could have gone anywhere.
Day 10: Good God...Who knew that a baby could cry so much? You did, didn't you? Why didn't you tell me? It seemed upon our first few trips to the doctor's office our little one was what you'd call a "High Maintenance Baby," but on the fifth trip they decided that maybe our little HMB actually had some acid reflux issues. After a late night trip to the world's shadiest 24hr pharmacy we started dosing the meds. It didn't work immediately, but by the end of the second day, she was much more calm. Whew! problem solved.
Day 20: Ok, she may not be having reflux issues after all (although I still think she is). She is much more consolable when she gets fussy and now she only really gets fussy when she's tired or hungry, like babies are supposed to. I think we cured her. Sleep is the latest battle we've been fighting. I received a great tip from a buddy at work. RUN THE VACUUM. It was a last resort thing, but we eventually broke down and turned the vacuum on. Wouldn't you know it, that girl passed right out. I love running the Vacuum!
Day 28: I'll be 30 in a couple of days, and she'll be 1 month old. I hate running the vacuum, but she needs it to sleep. Fortunately, we've hit a compromise. I've created a CD of our running vacuum and play it on a continuous loop through our CD player. Keeps her unconscious in between meals and keeps us mostly asleep. My greatest idea ever! She's changed so much in 4 weeks, she looks and acts like a completely different baby. I almost forget what it was like to be in the hospital with her.
The only thing I can say now is that it's been a month and Daddy's Tired...
