What not to do...in 5 simple steps.

It's funny how many people want to give you advice before the baby is born, but then after the baby is born you're on your own. All those people that lined up to congratulate you disappear in those first few weeks to "let you get settled." That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. After 5 weeks, I've come to realize that we'll never truly be 'settled' again.

So, for all of those people still waiting to get settled here are 10 random things you should know in those first few weeks.

5. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Poop sprays. Everyone will have you worried about your little baby boy peeing all over the place, but don't underestimate the power of poo (boy or girl). Never, and I mean never remove a diaper without having a replacement within arms reach.

4. You do not need the following items immediately: Swings of any sort, umbrella strollers, high chairs, gates, a electrical socket protectors. Sure it may help to have these things done, but until your baby is holding his/her head up or crawling on their own none of these things matter. I've spent more time pulling out the socket protectors to plug things in than I spent putting them all over the house. Don't let anyone pressure you into rushing to get things done before the baby comes.

3. Cloth diapers are a good idea in theory, but if your little bundle is having issues or is (like ours) what you doctor calls a high maintenance baby or HMB, take each battle as it comes. Maybe down the line you can convert to cloth, but right from the start in the heat of battle it's not the way to go. We're ready to try ours whenever she's ready.

2. Playtime. In the early weeks, playtime is for the parents. We want our babies to be uber-special and ahead f every curve, but in the end they are just happy to be fed cleaned and well rested. Yeah, we lay them on their mats and take cute pictures (or if you are me hundreds of cute pictures), but just keep them comfortable. That's all they really need.

1. Sleep is more important for you in the first few weeks than it is the baby. Trust me, the baby will sleep, but it is hard for parents to just lay down whenever the baby is napping. When the baby sleeps you'll want to straighten up the house, cook a real meal, catch up on your favorite DVR'd television shows, but don't. Don't be a hero....SLEEP. Everyone in the house will be happier if you're well rested.

These are my latest tips on parenting...It may not be much, but these were hard lessons for us in the first 5 weeks.

28 Days Later....

No, this is post is not going to be about the merits of a viral zombie horde as a opposed to the more traditional undead legions. It is instead going to glance over the first 28 days of my daughters life, what I learned, or more likely, what I think I learned.

Day 1: I told myself I wouldn't look. I remember the video in high school it was like horror porn. As excited as I was to meet my unborn child, I didn't think I could bring myself to watch 'all' of the action. I maintained eye contact with my wife as soon as the pushing started, but when the nurse said "There's the head daddy!" I just had to look and from that point I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It was amazing. As a friend of mine said about childbirth "it really makes you understand the word AWEsome."

Day 5: We finally got her home after some extra time under the anti-Jaundice lights. What a horrible experience to see your newborn on monitors wearing goofy goggles and crying. The nurses were great whenever we were there to visit and feed her, so at least there was that, but it was great to finally get her home. What did I learn that first day? POOP can spray. I lifted her legs to clean her up while changing a diaper and KABOOM! Poop on my shirt at a good 18 inches away. I didn't know whether to be disgusted or proud...Turns out thankful was the right emotion, that poop could have gone anywhere.

Day 10: Good God...Who knew that a baby could cry so much? You did, didn't you? Why didn't you tell me? It seemed upon our first few trips to the doctor's office our little one was what you'd call a "High Maintenance Baby," but on the fifth trip they decided that maybe our little HMB actually had some acid reflux issues. After a late night trip to the world's shadiest 24hr pharmacy we started dosing the meds. It didn't work immediately, but by the end of the second day, she was much more calm. Whew! problem solved.

Day 20: Ok, she may not be having reflux issues after all (although I still think she is). She is much more consolable when she gets fussy and now she only really gets fussy when she's tired or hungry, like babies are supposed to. I think we cured her. Sleep is the latest battle we've been fighting. I received a great tip from a buddy at work. RUN THE VACUUM. It was a last resort thing, but we eventually broke down and turned the vacuum on. Wouldn't you know it, that girl passed right out. I love running the Vacuum!

Day 28: I'll be 30 in a couple of days, and she'll be 1 month old. I hate running the vacuum, but she needs it to sleep. Fortunately, we've hit a compromise. I've created a CD of our running vacuum and play it on a continuous loop through our CD player. Keeps her unconscious in between meals and keeps us mostly asleep. My greatest idea ever! She's changed so much in 4 weeks, she looks and acts like a completely different baby. I almost forget what it was like to be in the hospital with her.

The only thing I can say now is that it's been a month and Daddy's Tired...

Welcome to the Adventure...

I've blogged before and I'll blog again. That's just one of the reasons I decided to start a 'Daddy' related blog. The other reason is that early in May my wife and I welcomed our first child into the world. Our little girl has quickly taken over the house, and as the title of the blog suggests: Daddy's Tired.

The first few weeks have been a whirlwind, but we're finally getting into a groove. Any parent can survive so long as they address the three basic facets of their baby: Eating, Sleeping, and Pooping...If all of these needs are addressed things go smoothly.

Of course there are the intangibles like gas, over-tiredness, acid reflux, and a constant running vacuum that make raising a newborn a much more difficult challenge than either of us expected. So, that's why the blog. I want to help new moms and dads navigate the uncharted waters of raising a child.

The good news? Well, I don't know what I'm doing either so you can be sure there will be some funny stories of my own misadventures on this blog. But, be sure, I'll write about anything that works and everything that doesn't. It's all in an effort to vent and help you help yourself.

Wish me luck on this new adventure...and of course, visit often!